Remembering
by moulin-rouge4ever
Summary: OK. This is a start to my 1st moulin rouge fanfic. Heres only the beginning to it. Satine is alive and she and christian are pulled together. But not everything is as good as it seems when they find out the dramatic truth. Plz read&review!new chapter !
1. Default Chapter

He suddenly wakes up, screaming. He shoots up in the bed. His whole body is shaking, sweating and he feels as if someone had tipped a bucket of icy water over him. His eyes are bloodshot. Panting for breath he looks around, hoping that what he just saw was just his worst nightmare. But it isn't. As he realises that she's gone, he falls back onto the bed, with tears in his eyes and he begins to cry. Crying for his love. Its been two days now. Two days since the awful event happened. He still cant believe it. Doesn't want to believe it. But he realises that he would have to face the truth. The truth that she was gone. That she died. Died in his arms. He still remembered the words. The words that she spoke to him that night. Her last words. ' Tell our story Christian,... that way I'll always be with you.', she had told him. And he promised her that he would. Promised to tell their story. He sits down at his typewriter, pulls out a sheet of paper which he places in the typewriter, and slowly touches the keys. He's searching for the words but can't find them. It seems that his mind has gone blank. He wants to find the words but is struggling to put them together. He tries to remember. Tries to start off. But when he thinks of it, of the time they had together, the time that was truly the best time of his life, he can feel tears slowly strolling down his cheeks. He closes his eyes, and tries to remember. Tries not to cry. Tries to face the truth. But he cant seem to remember anything without letting more tears come. Every time he closes his eyes he sees her. Sees the woman he loved. He looks around his apartment, outside the window, outside in the streets. Everything he looks at seems to remind him of her. He buries his face in his hands, but doesn't cry. Doesn't let himself. Then he slowly looks up, at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. Then he feels a cold wind blowing across his face. And then he slowly starts to remember. 


	2. chapter 2

He typed the last words, 'The End', but was it really the end? "Was this how it ended?", Christian asked himself. He honestly didn't know. He didn't seem to be sure of anything right now. He walks up to the window, and gazes out at the world before him. The world that he so wanted to come to. But now it didn't seem worth it. Didn't matter any longer. Nothing seemed to matter now when she was gone. Christian gazed out of the window, and then his eye catches at the sight of Moulin rouge. The place where they met. The place that once used to filled with light, colour, music, and magic was now grey and quiet. The wings that would constantly be swaying by for as long as he could remember now stood still, everyone of the wings only facing one direction without moving for a split second. It seemed as if it had died out of it's magic. As if Satine had died with it. Christian suddenly realised that he had been speaking to himself without noticing. He had said her name. He had spoken her name for the first time since she died. It scared him. All what he had thought about was her, but never actually spoke her name. Not until now. He sighs deeply. "It feels like I'm going mad with this.", he thinks to himself. He looks at Moulin rouge once again. " She really did fly away, as she wanted to .", he thinks. But what hurts him most is that he didn't find out until it was too late. If only he could turn back time. Change everything. If he could then would never leave her side again. What if he could? The more he thinks about it, the more he knows what he would have done. The more he thinks about it, he starts to speak his thoughts out loud, and then slowly he begins to sing : 'I feel like a song without the words, A man without a soul. A bird without its wings, a heart without a home. I feel like a knight without its sword, The sky without the sun, cos you are the one.' This was the truth. Nothing seemed to matter any more. He felt lost. Nothing mattered now when she was gone. He felt as if someone had stolen his soul since the day she flew away. And he couldn't get it back. He felt lost and couldn't find his way back. It didn't matter what happened, now when he had lost his reason for living. 'I feel like a ship beneath the waves, A child that's lost his way, A door without a key, A face without a name. I feel like a breath without the air, and everyday is the same since you've gone away. I've gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning, You used to be the one to put a smile on my face. There are no words that could describe how I miss you, and I miss you everyday. And I'm never gonna leave your side, and I'm never gonna leave your side again, still holding on girl, I wont let you go, cos when I'm lying in your arms I know I'm home. They tell me that a man can lose his mind, living in the pain. The call in times go by, the crying in the rain. Y'know I've wasted half the time, and I'm on my knees again, until you come to me. I've gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning, You used to be the one to put a smile on my face. There are no words that could describe how I miss you, And I miss you everyday. And I'm never gonna leave your side, and I'm never gonna leave your side again, still holding on girl. I wont let you go, I lay my head against your heart I know I'm home, know I'm home. And I'm never gonna leave your side, never gonna leave your side again, still holding on girl. I wont let you go, cos when I'm lying in your arms I know I'm home.' If only he'd known, known that she was ill. Then maybe it wouldn't have come to this. Together they'd flown away, flown far away from here. It felt has if his heart had been torn in a million pieces. He felt lost, he felt angry. Angry at the Duke and Zidler, angry that Zidler had agreed to this. He couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe that he'd actually gone through with it. And now look where it had led. It had led to this. He kept asking himself why she didn't tell him the truth, why she lied. But then he realised that he already knew why. Knew why she'd done it. Only to save him. Everything which happened that night finally made sense. He gazed out of the window again. First he saw the Moulin and then the elephant which was now as grey as the Moulin. There where everything happened. There where he had sung his song to her. When he was happily in love with her. He couln't bear it no longer. Couldn't look anywhere without being reminded of her. Of the woman he loved. Suddenly he couldn't fight back any longer. Couldn't fight the tears which where coming down his cheeks.  
  
*Note: the following songs belong to: 'Never Gonna leave your side' by Daniel Bedingfield 


	3. chap 3

He stands by the window, staring out over the small village of Monmartre. Outside it's beginning to rain, and Christian can feel raindrops falling on him. But he stays where he is and doesn't move, despite the rain which is starting fall and the cold wind blowing. He continues to stare out of the window. Stares out on the world that once used to be such a bright, colourful, wonderful place. But that is all a lifetime away, at least it seems so. Now, its starting to pour with rain but Christian still doesn't move. He can't seem to think about anything else. He simply just can't stop thinking about the dream he had. It had been strange. He'd dreamt about her. Dreamt that she was alive. It had been the first time since the terrible night when everything happened that he actually didn't have another nightmare about it. Ever since then, he'd been having nightmares about it. Been tossing and turning in his sleep, and even saying her name. And it always ended the same way, always ended with him waking up sweating and then crying for her. Ever since it happened it had been like that, until now. It had been the first time that it had been different. But had been so strange. It couldn't have been like that, it just couldn't. She died, she died in his arms. He sighs deeply and thinks, "It's only my mind playing tricks on me." A strong, cold wind is blowing and the fallen leaves start to fly around with the wind. The wind makes a whistling sound, and it leaves an echo from the church bells striking far away in the distance. He's still standing outside, soaked by the rain. His black hair flies across his face with the wind, which he finds annoying but doesn't seem to notice right now. Then he hears it, he hears a faint voice in the pouring rain and strong wind. He looks around, wondering if there's someone behind him or if it's someone in the streets. But it can't be. It's a woman's voice, and there's only he and Toulouse and the others which live above him. He looks down at the streets. They're dead empty. Probably everyone's inside because of the bad weather. The streets are wet, cold, and completely deserted. The look like the empty streets of a ghost town. He hears the voice again, but this time it's slightly stronger. It sounds as if it's calling someone. He looks around once more, but it's just as empty as it was a minute ago. Then he hears it once more, but this time he can hear words. He can't make them out completely. He stands at the same spot, and concentrates on trying making the words out. He listens, but hasn't got them right yet, and then he suddenly hears the voice. Then he hears the words , "Come What May", echoing in the wind. His eyes widen when he hears the words. He can't believe it. No other woman knew those words except her. It can't be possible. Who on earth knows those words? Their words. He's in complete shock and the only words he can make out when he speaks are, "What?!". "What's going on?", he asks himself. He stops and listens for the voice once again, but all he can hear is the strong wind whistling among the falling of the heavy rain. The voice is gone. He looks down, trying to clear his mind. When he looks up, he sees it. He sees a snow white pigeon sitting on the balcony in the rain. A snow white pigeon. He now remembers what he read about once. "A snow white pigeon, the message carrier." 


End file.
